E has been off breast milk since 10 months. Now he's 14 months. He was fine with Alimentum RTF. Now he's eating solid. Mostly chicken, beef, pork or turkey for meat. Veggies with oat, quinoa or buckwheat. Allergist said it's mostly virus that caused him hives. We're still on and off with hives and giving him benedryl or hydroxizine.
Sophie's already 4. Ethan had turned 1. Time flies. Life seem to be resumed to normal. I'm less depressed now.
Today i feel bad. I forgot Monday was a holiday and Vic drove Sophie to school and found out there's no school. He didn't say anything. Until today, i forgot it's PJ day. Didn't put S in PJ and he called me voice sounded mad to me. He wants to come home to get PJ for her and i don't think it's necessary. So i said maybe i'll go before going to Hanah's group (Koral's house). Then i didn't go becos E didn't wake up early. And if i go it'll be only 1 hour left. Plus i was thinking S should learn to cop. Today we dine out, he started to say i should make a reminder. S was OK, didn't feel sad or anything cos she said Ashely forgot to wear PJ as well. I feel V is blaming me. I already feel i'm a bad mom. My heart aches when he makes me feel this way. Anyway... i'm just being so forgetful. maybe I need the app Jenny recommend. I'm doing it now.
I was bad as well.... kept saying they'll sleep late becos we dine out. But i was waiting to talk to Mandy about her son's eczema. And i didn't expect he won't come home till around 7pm..... i know he meant good to take me out so i don't have to cook. But i'm more concerned about their sleep time then having fun to dine out. Perhaps i never know how to relax and enjoy life. Life is just so much chores. I wanted to enjoy myself in doing things i enjoy. Not doing things they enjoy. But i try to be better... saying S doesn't have school tomorrow... but atmosphere was ruined already. I felt like being scold. i admit it's my bad to forget. But i still think that S can handle this so it's good. We should not spoil her by making everything rosy. Shouldn't we help her to adjust and adapt? I slept late again...writing this blog and venting out... and setting up Cozi calendar.
I asked S if i'm a bad mom. If she felt sad about not having PJ while other kids had. She said she's OK, not feeling sad, and i'm not a bad mom. I told her i feel bad because i forgot. We prayed God will help mommy not to be forgetful. Sigh.... feeling being a bad mom is one thing. Feeling your husband thinking you're a bad mom make things worse. I wanted to cry but i was able to hold it at the sushi place... i guess I'm stronger... but when trying to make E sleep and when I pray my eyes were swelled. Even when I asked S during brushing teeth. And now... it's just depressing.
How come i just keep thinking of negative stuff? I tried to enjoy life... maybe i can't. I can't balance well.
